Mein Gott!

as I had turned my back upon the BrotherHood of Metal and shamed all of my True Brothers and Sisters of Metal(tm) with cowardice, I found my faith in the Kingdom of Steel given a breath of fresh life! The Four Warriors of Steel have come together again to produce their 10th studio release! No US Tour dates yet, but that's probably due to the fact they have all of like, 7 fans in CONUS. I however, am a proud fan and will remain stalwart in my support of the Gods Of War!

Release dates GODS OF WAR:
February 23, 2007 (Germany)
February 26, 2007 (Rest of Europe, excl. France)
March 5, 2007 (France)
April 3, 2007 (USA/Canada)

Four Kings Of Metal

Four Metal Kings

Death To The False Ones

Dance On A String

on a more sad note, their webmaster is apparently quite lame - as I had to modify his pre-configured banner posting settings to make them work properly. And they wonder why metal gets no respect.

the remarkable world of warcraft

I recently received an email from Kolonel Sir Geronimo, a DosArmas non-compliance specialist from parts unknown, or somewhere in LA.

To appreciate the true quandary KSG suffers, one must appreciate the kind of dorkballs who spend their lives immersed in World of Warcraft. Check out some videos of the game here. I can't do justice for this breed of online computer gamers, however I can verbally smite them from my mountain shack as the average WoWer has not the aptitude nor the capacity to venture out to Rancho DosArmas.

At any rate, KSG sent me an email asking for advice on how to respond to his two happy-go-lucky soon to be married WOW friends, and I dear readers, am at a complete loss how to help! Please read on:

"Do you have friends or acquaintances who are heavily involved (perhaps even obsessed) with world of warcraft? I just received a message from two who are getting married. I get this horrid mental image of the both of them logging in right after the proposal to go on a quest then stop for a spot of teabagging at the molten core. At this point I am at a loss as to how to respond to their message. Please help."


Kolonel Sir Geronimo, I myself do not associate with WoW gamers. I find their presence to be both disturbing and mildly traumatic. Here is an example of the type of crap they do in their spare time.




Terrifying. I suspect your visions of virtual teabagging are indeed just precursors to the real acts. Perhaps they will produce an inspiring video for other WoWers. I heartily recommend immediate suspension of contact with your star-struck WoW companions and continue on with life.

Best of luck Kolonol!

My Little Monkey-Boy!

Rommel!

This picture is sometime around when he was 8 weeks old - he's a little bigger nowadays.

Fruitful Update!

UPDATE: I have just seen the error of my ways, found a banana suit on ebay, and downloaded the Intl Banana Membership Application. It's $15 for a lifetime membership, and $13 for any additional members. Contact me via email if you should so desire to be part of the courageous movement!

Banana Power!

Definitely Fruity

International Banana Club?

This is just plain wrong!

First of all, that banana is wearing some kinda kinky p-leather/vinyl bondage suit. WTF?

Next, check out the activities section, I want to be a flaming guy!

Finally, they speak in a special undecipherable code..

"We use our BC cards to get special rates, favors, discounts and surprises. Member selected titles have something to do with the "fun" involvement.The Club is dedicated to maintaining the positive attitude and keeping spirits up! Using the club card and personal titles is a great way to get attention. Wearing a B.C. shirt or just a banana sticker will get you special attention. "

Think people, THINK!

I'm certain that wearing a B.C. shirt will indeed get one special attention...but special rates? special favors? special surprises? Personal Titles? Just call me Captain Banana Head!

Sodom and Gomorrah! How long can these strange fruit perverts openly flaunt their twisted fetish?

Mr. Speer you certainly are Top Banana - and Glen, we see that smile on your face. I'm certain you're doing something special with those bananas, and we're not going to take it anymore!

Chocolate Narcosis

This post is dedicated to the few kind folk who called/emailed me to -

• comment on my consumption of pastries
• mock my "health" discipline
• laugh at my apparent eschewing of Atkins principles (what did he know anyway?)

BLAH! to all of you. See below what remains of the delicious cake - and for the record, I feel FANTASTIC - if a little confused and dizzy. I may freeze this piece, or perhaps I will have it as a early morning aperitif. Though non-alcoholic, the numbing/stimulating sensations caused by the dense cocoa material are on par with various pharmaceuticals.

Vive Le Chocolat!

Who the hell thought THIS was a good idea?

Here is a list of caffeine levels
in common beverages.
(don't ask the src, I really don't care to look for the reference)

Coffee
Brewed - 237 ml (1cup) - 135 milligrams of caffeine
Roasted and ground, percolated - 237 ml (1cup) - 118mg
Roasted and ground, filter drip - 237 ml (1cup) - 179mg
Roasted and ground, decaffeinated - 237 ml (1cup) - 3mg
Instant - 237 ml (1cup) - 76 - 106mg
Instant decaffeinated - 237 ml (1cup) - 5mg

Tea
Average blend - 237 ml (1cup) - 43mg
Green - 237 ml (1cup) - 30mg
Instant - 237 ml (1cup) - 15mg
Leaf or bag - 237 ml (1cup) - 50mg
Decaffeinated tea - 237 ml (1cup) - 0mg
Colas
Cola beverage, regular - 355ml (1 can) - 36 - 46mg
Diet cola - 355ml (1 can) - 39 - 50mg

Cocoa Products
Chocolate milk - 237ml - 8mg
1 envelope hot-cocoa mix - 237ml - 5mg
Candy, milk chocolate - 28g - 7mg
Candy, sweet chocolate - 28g - 19mg
Baking chocolate, unsweetened - 28g - 25 - 58mg
Chocolate cake - 80g - 6mg
Chocolate brownies - 42g - 10mg
Chocolate mousse - 90g - 15mg
Chocolate pudding - 145g - 9mg
Energy Drinks
Jolt Cola: 71 mg. (1 can)
Red Bull: 80 mg. (1 can)




And lastly .........

Cocaine Energy Drink: 280 mg. (1 can)

Purchase here-----

Attracting Women in the Great White North

Dinner at Rancho DosArmas

So, it's not really a ranch, it's my hovel in the woods. So what? It's the spirit that counts!

This evening's text touch on how the late Dr. Atkins was slightly mistaken. Let me clarify my position.

This evening's dinner at the Rancho (hovel just sounds so pedestrian, doesn't it?) was courtesy of a wonderful, wayward, anonymous visitor who entered the sturdy confines of our woodland stronghold.

We (meaning I) were treated to an epicurean delight of herculean proportions that tickled our fancy, warmed our soul, and provided us with exquisite cocktail of insomnia & tachycardia: Flour-less Chocolate Cake!

With the addition of some robust Sumatran coffee, the evening was complete!

Pundits say Gin is the way to hold fast in this world of chaos and tribulation - I beg you to consider that chocolate, butter, eggs and sugar are the glue which hold civilizations together!

My name is Daniel and I

have a drinking problem.
I've been harboring a deep, dastardly, and quite frightening addiction, and it's time I come clean with the world.

I'm hooked on Recon Coffee Energy Cola, and I believe that I'm lost in the world without my lovely tan cans. How did I begin this descent into my own personal hell?

Innocently enough....I discovered Recon Coffee Energy Cola at a local dollar store in Ventura, CA.
I purchased a few cans due to the amusing tactical desert-camo finish on the tall attractive container. "Hahahah!" I thought but the devilish last laugh was to be on me...

For those who have never imbibed the nectar of Recon Coffee Energy Cola - how do I begin to describe the experience, as it's like non-other! It's an exhilarating beverage with a light crisp bouquet, incredibly complex textures, a creamy body and a scintillating finish with just enough bite to leave you pining for more....

Now, five months and 500 hundred cans of liquid gold later - Recon Coffee Energy Cola has replaced my morning tea, my midmorning 6shot red-eye, my afternoon mate-fix, my pre-dinner post afternoon Red-Bull and my evening Monster beverage. I'm all Recon all the time baby! I LIVE for this SHIT!

It's THE most potent .60-cents of fury a man can buy!

until now.

This early this evening I reached into my pantry to grab a delicious gulp of my precious Recon Coffee Cola, and my trembling hands grasped air
I DRANK MY STOCK OF PRECIOUS RECON COFFEE ENERGY COLA!
I quickly called McFrugals, the local dollar store to see if they had any new shipments of this divine beverage....and
They were out, AND there wouldn't be another shipment! In the past five months, I had consumed their entire region's stock!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

what is a man to do in this situation? deep breath daniel, there are more than one place to get Recon Coffee Energy Cola

but you've never SEEN Recon anywhere else Daniel - you are alone in this dark and scary world - without your special coffee cola...Ok. think straight - you are an internet professional by god, you spend 80hrs a week freaking out on Recon surfing that web - you can find more Recon!

and I did.

Jump Beverages!

1 24 Pack case of Recon Coffee Energy Cola is 44.99 + 5 dollars shipping and handling.

50 dollars for 24 cans of my elixer of life ....

$2.08 per can - and at the rate of almost 8 cans a day - I am looking at Recon Coffee Energy Cola habit that runs nearly $17 a DAY!

I'm confused, I'm lost, I'm shaking, and I don't know what to do -- I have a couple of emergency Recon in the truck, and a few cans of Recon's inferior Jump Beverage's bretheren - HOT and Sentinel......but it's not the same. SHUTUP! It's NOT THE SAME! I do NOT have a problem, I just like the taste! I might, but I can't! and I won't let go - it's all that I have in the cruel harsh santa barbaran world -- my Recon and my dreams....

DAMN YOU RECON!!! Leaving me in my time of need!

do you you ever have that special feeling -

and sometimes you hear a song that epitomizes how your feel in every which way, you can get wrapped up in energy so deeply that everything else is masked out other than the feeling and the visions it provides? I certainly did today. And Yes. I got a right.

I Got a Right!
Anytime I want I got a right to move
No matter what they say
Anytime I want I got a right to move
No matter what they say

I got a right, I got a right to move
Anytime I want, anytime
I got a right, I got a right to move
Anytime I want

contd...

SoCal is SoWeird

Drive thru daries - I expect this in Wisconsin - the land of cheeseheads and Brett Favre pill poppin pansises but SoCal?
Weird.

texture

I just loved the textures and shading of the acres of chipped scrub beneath our feet - and the b/w photo emphasizes this well.

Los Padres National Forest - My back-yard - Yeee-HAW

Driving in Fog - Keeping it Real

My driving conditions this evening....

Spaz-Juice!

For an Energetic Freak-Out That Will Bother Everyone!

"It Couldn't Be Done" - Edgar A. Guest

Sometimes life "kicks ya in the jimmies" and all around there are the know-nothing do nothing, haven't done anything naysayers tearing you down - to all of those parasites out there who spend their days sucking the marrow of life from those of us who are building our destinies, I offer up this poem:

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done.
There are thousands to prophsey failure;
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
the dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and got to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done,"
and you'll do it.


Remember that if you are born against


FIGHT THE POWER