2.17.2007

My name is Daniel and I

have a drinking problem.
I've been harboring a deep, dastardly, and quite frightening addiction, and it's time I come clean with the world.

I'm hooked on Recon Coffee Energy Cola, and I believe that I'm lost in the world without my lovely tan cans. How did I begin this descent into my own personal hell?

Innocently enough....I discovered Recon Coffee Energy Cola at a local dollar store in Ventura, CA.
I purchased a few cans due to the amusing tactical desert-camo finish on the tall attractive container. "Hahahah!" I thought but the devilish last laugh was to be on me...

For those who have never imbibed the nectar of Recon Coffee Energy Cola - how do I begin to describe the experience, as it's like non-other! It's an exhilarating beverage with a light crisp bouquet, incredibly complex textures, a creamy body and a scintillating finish with just enough bite to leave you pining for more....

Now, five months and 500 hundred cans of liquid gold later - Recon Coffee Energy Cola has replaced my morning tea, my midmorning 6shot red-eye, my afternoon mate-fix, my pre-dinner post afternoon Red-Bull and my evening Monster beverage. I'm all Recon all the time baby! I LIVE for this SHIT!

It's THE most potent .60-cents of fury a man can buy!

until now.

This early this evening I reached into my pantry to grab a delicious gulp of my precious Recon Coffee Cola, and my trembling hands grasped air
I DRANK MY STOCK OF PRECIOUS RECON COFFEE ENERGY COLA!
I quickly called McFrugals, the local dollar store to see if they had any new shipments of this divine beverage....and
They were out, AND there wouldn't be another shipment! In the past five months, I had consumed their entire region's stock!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

what is a man to do in this situation? deep breath daniel, there are more than one place to get Recon Coffee Energy Cola

but you've never SEEN Recon anywhere else Daniel - you are alone in this dark and scary world - without your special coffee cola...Ok. think straight - you are an internet professional by god, you spend 80hrs a week freaking out on Recon surfing that web - you can find more Recon!

and I did.

Jump Beverages!

1 24 Pack case of Recon Coffee Energy Cola is 44.99 + 5 dollars shipping and handling.

50 dollars for 24 cans of my elixer of life ....

$2.08 per can - and at the rate of almost 8 cans a day - I am looking at Recon Coffee Energy Cola habit that runs nearly $17 a DAY!

I'm confused, I'm lost, I'm shaking, and I don't know what to do -- I have a couple of emergency Recon in the truck, and a few cans of Recon's inferior Jump Beverage's bretheren - HOT and Sentinel......but it's not the same. SHUTUP! It's NOT THE SAME! I do NOT have a problem, I just like the taste! I might, but I can't! and I won't let go - it's all that I have in the cruel harsh santa barbaran world -- my Recon and my dreams....

DAMN YOU RECON!!! Leaving me in my time of need!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

so you blog for the company? i see

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DANIEL, DANIEL, DANIEL, ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO WAS CALL THE "877" NUMBER ON THE SIDE OF THE CAN AND LEAVE A MESSAGE......THE REASON THE DOLLAR STORES HAD MY DRINK TO BEGIN WITH WAS BECAUSE OF SOME NEW CAN DESIGNS THAT INVOLVED A NATIONAL CHARITY (OPERATIONHOMEFRONT.NET) THAT i WANTED TO MARKET WITH THE SALE OF THE PRODUCT. OUTDATED CAN DESIGNS ARE COMMONLY SOLD THIS WAY TO LIQUIDATE INVENTORY.MAY NAME IS JACK AND I DESIGNED THAT DRINK THANK YOU AND PLEASE CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE 1-877-517-4397 AND LET ME KNOW IT'S YOU, I'LL GET YOUR "FIX"

11:07 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home